This summer, I became aware of something very important to my general health: I may have inherited my mother's migraines. When I was in high school, I had some flare ups that drove me nuts and hit me with classic migraine symptoms like light and sound sensitivity and nausea which introduced me to Imitrex, a sumatriptan succinate tablet or shot used to help alleviate symptoms. As I started college, I learned that I started to get severe headaches that were near or at migraine level related to hormone changes. While these were painful, a quick sip of a caffeine-filled beverage or chugging a Powerade could help get rid of the symptoms and I could move on with my life. But this summer, things changed.
It would start with a deep, throbbing feeling in my forehead or the base of my skull. That I was used to. But what I wasn't used to was no amount of caffeine, Powerade, or over the counter migraine medication could get rid of this one. I had no choice but to get a small prescription for Imitrex to help relieve my symptoms, but I'm worthless when taking them. A quick trip to the family doctor to get on medication for daily maintenance turned into a trip to Lima Memorial for a CT scan, which then turned into a phone call saying I needed to schedule an appointment with the neurologist.
I was scared after I got that phone call. My doctor's office told me that my brain sits lower than it should, so even though my veins in my brain (say that three times fast) were functioning fine, I still should see a neurologist to make sure we are aware of everything going on this head of mine. After my grandma and mom telling me more than once that this was fine and not as bad as I thought it was, I scheduled my appointment hoping for quick results. Instead, I was booked for an appointment almost a month and a half out from the day I called.
I was no longer scared after that, I was just frustrated. Waking up every single day with a headache, wondering if I was going to be able to go on with my daily activities or not, hoping that I would be able to pay attention in class is annoying and tedious. Fluorescent lights became my enemy and days that I could watch videos in class were no longer highlights and instead were almost a form of torture for my over-sensitive senses. Any time I felt anxious or stressed out, the pain in my head would become worse. Ever try being a not anxious, not stressed out college student? It's impossible. Even more frustrating was knowing that I didn't have any answers.
Today started just like every other day the last couple of weeks, I woke up and evaluated how I felt to see if I would be able to handle today. Today, I couldn't handle today. Looking at this computer screen in the well-lit comfort of my living room at 11:56 p.m. is aggravating my head to no end. However, today got a little better. My mom sent me the number for another neurologist in the area to try and get an appointment sooner. The soonest available appointment was not even until November, and I was once again frustrated. Honestly, I'll admit that I cried some tears of frustration. It felt like no one cared that I was in pain and suffering each day, making every day activities almost impossible. I was tired of feeling like this and I wanted it fixed. But, two hours later I received a phone call from my original neurologist. While my original appointment was for October 15, the office had a cancelation for tomorrow and they could get me in.
While I may not get answers immediately, I am the happiest I've been in a while because this is one more step towards being myself again without the stress of daily head pains.
To be completely honest, I must admit something.
I love my planner.
Really though. I live and die by my planner. Since I've started my undergraduate education at Ohio Northern University, I have looked forward to the day that Lilly Pulitzer announces their newest line of agendas are available for order. The bright colors, the amount of space I have to write my daily activities and tasks upon, the calendar that happily welcomes me as I begin each new month...I could go on and on about my planner.
I have lost my planner at least once each year while I was in college, and I was lost. I would write my assignments or study plans down on random slips of paper that I would promptly lose, then be caught off guard by an assignment or frantically texting friends to make sure that I'm not forgetting anything. Even worse, I resorted to using the calendar included on my phone at one point to no results. While I may love my smartphone, touch screen laptop and social media; I will be a traditional organizer for eternity.
As perfect as this planner may be, it does have its (very minor) downfall: a lack of stickers to help plan my life. Yes, Lilly Pulitzer offers stickers that can be bought online. But as happy and colorful as they were, they just didn't seem to be me. After browsing Etsy to see what sort of planner stickers were offered for college students, I had an epiphany. Why can't I make my OWN planner stickers?
After a quick trip to Walmart to buy the Avery 18294 Return Label Stickers, I started working on a combination of Pixlr and Picmonkey to create my own planner stickers. For my first try, I have to say I am very happy with the results.
For my first try making these stickers, I didn't get too in depth. After some quick thought, I decided that the most important stickers were reminders for exams, papers and studying as well as a way to keep track of the amount of water I drink each day and a quick check off for if I work out or not that day, as well as some random holiday and event stickers. As soon as I figured out what the pixel equivalent of 2/3" by 1 3/4" was, I began creating my stickers. Being able to pick my own images from the wide variety of clip art and images available on the internet and then combining them with my own choice of colors and font was oddly satisfying. A little more difficult was making each individual image fit into the Avery 5195 blank template that the Avery company provides, but it ended up working out. Check out my stickers I created below!
Note: The images look blurry in the gallery set up below, but once clicked on go to their actual, smaller size. Each image is only 168x64 pixels.
Since I've moved out, I've been trying to branch out from the dishes my parents always made to make new things while eating healthier at the same time. There have been quite a few successes, like the ground turkey tacos I made using iceberg lettuce leaves as taco shells. However, there has been one massive failure in the last couple of days. Tilapia.
People that know me are quite aware of the fact that I don't eat fish, mostly because I can't stand the "fishy" taste that it has. In the last year I've went back and tried a lot of foods that I "didn't like" when I was an extremely picky eater and have learned I really like them. It didn't seem too far fetched that I may actually enjoy fish since the last time I tried it.
Well, I may. But tilapia is not that fish.
That night I ate popcorn for dinner while trying not to vomit because I could swear the fish was trying to squirm back up my stomach. Next time, I think I'll try salmon.
My Summer (Or that time I went to Cincy, returned as Ms. Eldora, crashed a wedding and became extremely dizzy in a months' time).
This summer has been somewhat chaotic for me. Attempting to enjoy life while working anywhere to 60 to 70 hours a week is not easy, and I really respect people that DO have it figured out. But, this summer has had some fantastic moments in it as well. I'm still enjoying living on my own, although I am pretty excited for my roommate to move in so I can have someone to talk to other than my cat. Living on my own has MAJOR perks though.
The first, which is usually the first I mention whenever someone asks me how I like living on my own, is the fact that I don't have to wear pants. Ever. I mean, I do. Everyone has to wear pants sometimes. But if I don't want to, I don't have to. Simple as that. Besides that, it's pretty cool to be able to listen to Mumford and Sons or whatever I feel like listening to at that moment as loud as I want. Or as quiet as I want. Or at any volume, really. But I usually just play it through my computer from my TV, which is nice. After that, decorating your own place is interesting. Taylor and I's humble abode is pretty simple still, but she gave me the go ahead to decorate however I want. Currently, we have a really cool print of Marilyn Monroe (thanks Grandma Shirley!) hanging by our front door and a wall of random canvas that my mom had bought me when I redecorated my room at home above our couch in the living room. And this lamp my supervisor gave me. When you move out as a college student, people assume you have nothing and want to give you stuff. This is almost completely true and I love presents, so it works out great. Speaking of people wanting to give me stuff, my fabulous uncles Todd and Bill sent me a gift card to buy new bedding, which I gladly did, and my mom cooks my favorite meals all the time to entice me to come visit. It works. Like I said, moving out has major perks.
I have done more than just work and sleep and occasionally eat this summer though. Fourth of July weekend I adventured to Cincinnati to go see Amy and catch a Cincinnati Reds game with her. Our seats were fantastic, we looked amazing and we had such a great time catching up on everything we had been doing, even though we talk every day. I worked until about 9:00 the night of July 4, so as soon as I arrived at the Hood residence I was starving. The original plan was to go to Waffle House, but we settled for Wendy's and caught some sleep before we went to Ikea with her mom the next morning. After our Ikea trip and some delicious Ikea cinnamon rolls, we rushed back to her house as fast as Cincinnati traffic would allow us to so we could get to the stadium in time to get our free Joey Votto shirts, then grab some food at the Holy Grail Tavern and Grille down the street from the Great American Ball Park.
When we got to the game, we couldn't get over how amazing our seats were. We had a great view of the field from the third base line behind the visitor's dugout and we were close enough to hear the crack of the bat or the ball hit the catcher's glove. But, we did not have the luxury of cloud coverage that day and our seats were in direct sunlight. Apparently, the sun realized how often we lived inside all day in offices and decided to come out to play when neither of us had sunscreen. The Reds lost, but we still had fun and managed to find some fun to get into after the game by adventuring throughout Cincy.
BUT, my fun doesn't end there. I was super honored to be asked to come back as a Ms. Eldora for the Kings Royal weekend, one of my absolute FAVORITE events Eldora Speedway has to offer. I had the opportunity to meet some great new people, catch up with old friends I hadn't seen since 2012 and enjoy a great weekend at my favorite dirt track in the world. It was weird putting on the crown and sash again for the weekend, but it did make me realize how lucky I was to have the opportunity in the first place. I finally was able to meet Dusti Rayburn, another former Ms. Eldora, when we were paired together for the weekend and had a blast with her. I also saw some pretty cool things, including a cardboard sprint car, a ticket from the inaugural Kings Royal, a monitor lizard hanging out in vendor row and Dustin Jarrett's clipboard that I defaced, as well as enjoying my latest addiction (Biggby's iced Caramel Marvel with an extra shot of espresso).
Finally, I crashed a wedding last weekend. Kind of. Last Saturday night at Texas Roadhouse, one of my coworkers asked me to go visit a table of his because they were teasing a guy at the table because he didn't have a date for a wedding the next day and he jokingly pointed at me and said he would take me then. After walking up to the table and telling him I was free after a pageant forum the next day, I found out that his name was Addison and not only did he go to Ohio Northern University, but that he rented a house down the street from my parents with his cousin,the groom, and the bride. That next day I arrived at So Serene in Wapakoneta to be a wedding date for a guy I hadn't even met until the night before. I was sort of worried because I didn't really know what to expect and I was walking into an entire wedding of strangers, other than the people that were in the wedding party that had been there to witness the encounter at Texas Roadhouse. However, I had nothing to worry about because I had the most fun I have ever had at a wedding. Plus, people were pretty impressed that I had the guts to walk into a wedding full of people I had never met to be a date to a guy I barely knew. Oh, and did I mention that I accidentally wore one of the wedding colors?
The best part is that I originally had on a different dress, I had stopped at the mall to buy this right before my meeting because the original dress was wrinkling far too much. The original dress was the same color as the dress the bridesmaids wore.
Addison and I had a pretty good time together once he was able to finish his groomsmen responsibilities. We danced, we ate good food and got to know each other better. It must have worked out, because he agreed to be my plus one for a wedding I have tomorrow.
All in all, July has been a pretty great month. Except for when I had to go to Urgent Care last week because I had sinus infection and vertigo. Vertigo sucked, it was like spinning really fast in an office chair and being stuck with that dizzy feeling afterward for days. That's where the dizzy part comes in.
TL;DR I went to Cincinnati for a Reds game with Amy, came back as Ms. Eldora Speedway for the Kings Royal weekend and was a last minute date to a wedding. And I had vertigo.
In a day and age when anyone can become an activist through social media, I don't think my generation sees the power that we have to create change. While I have had some really interesting conversations about change and progress with social and financial issues concerning people my age with my classmates because I go to school with some very intelligent individuals, not everyone knows where they stand on issues. Nor do they feel that they have to have a solid opinion.
While I don't have a position on every issue, there are a couple of issues that I am very passionate about. But the ones that gets me heated up the most is anything related to women's rights. There has been tons of progress related to women's rights in the last one hundred years, but it's not enough. Every day, women are faced with struggles, private and public. The struggle of deciding to wear something because if they do, they could be raped or sexually assaulted because they were obviously asking for it. The struggle of being treated as an inferior based not on intelligence or the level of education they have received, but simply for being born as a woman. The struggle of being told what you can and cannot do with your body by different authorities and having those rights decided by a government (typically) filled with elderly white men who have never had to deal with that sort of decision.
And this is only in America.
Tales of child brides, gang rapes and an overall lack of respect for women and girls around the world shock people on an almost daily basis. But what can we do?
Create change. Create conversations. The #YesAllWomen movement on Twitter opened up lots of doors for dialogue on this subject. For me, #YesAllWomen opened my eyes to see that I was not the only one thinking these things, secretly hoping that something would be done. Women voiced their opinions. They said what was on their minds. They addressed fears and hopes that I have had for years. It made me realize I wasn't alone in wanting change and I could do something about it. I can vote against issues that are not fair to myself and other women. I can call my representative and address my concerns about legislation that may negatively impact my life. But I can also try my hardest to address behavior that goes against the progress that we have made as a nation in creating equality for all. I can initiate conversations with my friends about the topic, address issues as they are happening and not be afraid to speak my mind when I feel that there is sexism, discrimination or harassment happening. I can try and prevent myself and those around me from becoming victims, or even being victimized a second time. I can try my hardest to become a strong woman who does not stand for inequality and try to encourage the next generation to do the same.
I hope that someday if I have children, I have a daughter who isn't afraid to talk about the hard things like women's rights and does not have to live in fear. I hope that if I have a son, I can raise someone who respects women as equals, not as an inferior being, and will try his hardest to prevent this from happening by sharing and ingraining these beliefs into his friends and peers. Most of all, I hope I'm not alone in these hopes.
It's not easy. Progress like this has never been, nor will it ever be simple. But the world is progressing. For almost every story I read of women being victims, I can find another where there has been success or a step towards success in guaranteeing rights for women or a change in opinion. Society is constantly evolving and we have it within our power to be envoys of this change. We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
Because if we don't, who will?
This summer has already been full of changes for me. The best group of friends I have ever had all moved home for the summer. Some of my favorite people graduated from Ohio Northern University. I have a full time office job during the week. I took a road trip to Chicago to see my FAVORITE unsigned artist, Hoodie Allen. I went to Ikea and fell in love with basically everything in the show room. I even went to my first Cincinnati Reds game and enjoyed it. But the biggest change?
For the first time in my almost 21 and a half years of existing, I moved out of my parents' house.
Most of my friends won't see the significance of this. Many of them moved out as they entered college and were thrown into the unknown in the form of prison-like dorm rooms with cinder block walls, community showers and an entire lack of privacy by having a roommate they may not necessarily know or even like. For me, I was lucky enough to grow up Ada, the village ONU is located in. For three years, I commuted to and from classes from the same room I've lived in for most of my life, hanging out with my sister and dad before going to class and seeing my mom in the evenings, playing with my dogs instead of doing homework and munching on food that I never paid for.
But over this weekend, I made the big move into an adorable little house that is the perfect size for my roommate, Taylor, and I. I was able to bring my cat, and she and I are living the bachelorette dream at the moment. However, it is definitely a shock. Paying for bills, my own groceries, being the only one responsible for clean towels and dishes as well as being without internet or cable for days because of cable line problems is a huge change from sitting on the couch at home. Or my parents' house. I'm still struggling with trying to define which house is home.
As big of a change as it was, it was definitely needed. Learning how to budget money, survive on my own AND being able to cook edible meals for one person is a skill I'll be needing in the extremely near future. Plus, my family is basically four blocks away from my house, making it a quick fix for homesickness. While my mom making my favorite meal ever while I moved out certainly made moving harder, along with my dogs following me around because they knew something was going on, I finally feel like an adult. Or, a pretend adult with my 40 hour a week internship and side job at Texas Roadhouse. But even if I'm just playing house for now, it's my house, which is an incredibly awesome feeling.
In even more exciting news, I have been extended the amazing opportunity to work with Ohio Northern University alumnae Rachael McKee as a social media consultant as she launches an exciting new project that I can't wait to share with everyone in the very near future. While this summer will really be busy with all of my projects and jobs, I am so excited for all of the experience I'm getting and can't wait to share all of the things I get to do on my blog.
Lately, there seems to be an epidemic of Facebook posts and tweets on Twitter discussion all of the reasons why my generation, the millennial generation, are the worst. We're entitled. We don't appreciate anything, be it people, things or the opportunities we have available to us. We don't know how to date. We don't know how to communicate. We don't appreciate the value of a dollar, or how hard our parents/grandparents/family members work for these dollars we so frivolously spend.
You know what? I'm sick of it.
I won't tackle the dating thing, because my super cool and intelligent classmate Julie Eley already addressed this pretty well, in my opinion. But why is my generation so hellbent on demeaning ourselves all of the time? Our parents were rebellious. Our parents were unappreciative. I'm sure our grandparents told OUR parents that they didn't know how to date, or communicate, or that they didn't understand why they didn't appreciate all of the opportunities they had in front of them. Each generation seems to be nothing like the generation that it follows, so why is it such a big deal now?
Honestly, I believe that this goes back to the one thing I love most about technology: social media. Now, more than ever, I can share absolutely every detail about my life to complete strangers on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even this blog that I'm writing on this very moment. Instead of telling our close friends about our relationship problems, people in my generation take it to the internet. We humble brag about our purchases (speaking of humble brags, have you seen the photos of people that went to the Vera Bradley sale?!), we talk about what we do on the weekends constantly. We have access to all of the information available on the internet at our fingertips at a moments notice. Why wouldn't we be entitled?
But what people refuse to look at is how hard people in my generation work to achieve things. Day in and day out, I talk to my fellow students about what we're doing during the week. The same people that brag about going to the bar every weekend spend hours at the library, or in a computer lab, or at their desk doing homework every week night. These people that brag about what they've bought have spent hours working for the money to buy the very thing they're bragging about. They've meticulously created resumes and cover letters and portfolios of their work to apply for jobs and internships for these opportunities that people like to say we so easily squander.
So why do we only focus on the negative?
Is it that much easier to talk about how someone was lazy on this particular day, that guys don't want to wear dress shirts and pants on dates, that girls don't have self-esteem and let the men in their lives take advantage of them? Everyone has a "worst" moment. My mom isn't the coolest everyday. My sister is a whiny millennial some days. I'm rude and don't realize all of the amazing opportunities I've had in my life sometimes. But this isn't everyday. Instead of talking about the negatives, or sharing these posts that talk about everything that is wrong with the generation I am surrounded by, why not recognize those that are doing great things? Why not tell someone you see how hard they are working? Everyone wants to preach that you should be the change that you want to see in the world, and I'm done sharing these posts that talk about millennials being the worst. Instead, I'm going to look at why we're some of the best people and I think you should too.
This week has been a tough one. I started off recovering from pink eye (Gross, I know. I looked like a kitten with matted up eyes) and taking three tests right at the beginning of the week. I was sleep deprived and extremely grumpy because I had picked up shifts at Texas Roadhouse to make extra money from not working over the weekend because I was sick and felt like I was drowning in my to-do list. Homework, random things for my project I'm working on for Lifeline of Ohio and an impending research paper that I need to present on the 25th that I hadn't even collected data for were hanging over my head like a storm cloud.
Pas·sion noun \ˈpa-shən\: a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something.
Lately, I've noticed a reoccurring theme in my conversations and lectures. "Do something you're passionate about," my professors, speakers and text books tell me. "Find what your passion is and live it."
But what is passion? Yes, there's romantic passion. That all-encompassing feeling or attraction one can experience that can turn your world around. There is the dictionary definition of passion. There are acts of passion, from Jesus Christ and others committing the ultimate sacrifice to make the world a better place or the tales of Romeo and Juliet or Marc Antony and Cleopatra, who makes sacrifices for love. But how am I, a college student that has barely broken into adulthood, supposed to figure out what I'm passionate about?
Sure, there are things that I love doing. I love watching Disney movies, I love reading, I love spending time with friends or eating ice cream and other delicious desserts. But there is a difference between loving something and being passionate about it. I'm passionate about my major, but when I graduate college my major will be nothing but a line on my resume next to the college I attended. I will be defined by different standards when I enter the real world. So what then?
Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's near impossible to know everything I am truly passionate about at this age. College points you in the right direction of your passion, but you are not allowed to focus on one thing and nurture and develop that passion, instead you take gen eds and required classes to satisfy graduation requirements. You hope to find a job post-graduation that you are passionate about, but even what you imagine to be your dream job may leave you dissatisfied. Instead, I've decided to focus on smaller things. I'm passionate about showing I can rise to a challenge, whatever it may be. I'm passionate about succeeding. I'm passionate about making sure no one feels belittled and they are inspired to rise to their true potential, especially if it's in my power to make it happen.
While these may not be exactly the type of passions people expect me to have, I'm content with what I've found. The best part about being a young adult in the day and age is that you are allowed the time to evolve and soul search to find what is truly meaningful to you. And sometimes, just scratching the surface of these things can be a start. As I finish my junior year and move on to my senior year of undergraduate studies, I hope that I can find where my passions really lie. It'll be a lot of trial and error, but I believe someday I will find out.
Or, better known as the woes of the Bateman Case Study Competition. Any public relations student affiliated with PRSSA knows the joy, pain, happiness and suffering that makes up Bateman. Each year, PRSSA gives eager public relations students a client for this national competition. After months of research and planning, these teams create a campaign that can only be implemented in February, which then must be evaluated in order to create a plan book to submit for judging.
This year, Ohio Northern University had three teams of five students each, which was fantastic. Getting involved in a competition such as Bateman requires a lot of time and motivation and it was inspiring to see this much ambition in my fellow public relations majors. However, this created major kinks in our planning right away. Ohio Northern University is a small campus, and three campaigns on the same topic would definitely lead to complications during implementation. The team I was a part of decided unanimously to move our campaign elsewhere to make things easier, then happily continued our planning and research.
From October onward, we focused our efforts on another local college and created surveys, fun events and goals of what we would accomplish. Unfortunately, we ended up being 0-3 on finding a willing school to host our event. The nature of our client led schools to believe we would be soliciting, whether we intended it to be that way or not. Although it was difficult to admit, half way through February we realized that we had hit a major roadblock. With less than two weeks left in the implementation phase of the competition, we could try two things: one, put together a quick campaign at ONU and risk throwing off the other groups results as well as forgetting all of the research and planning we had done in the last three months, or two, acknowledge that there was nothing we could do and withdraw from the competition. We chose the second option.
To this day, I don't think I have ever felt the level of embarrassment and wounded pride as I had the moment we realized we had failed. I felt like I failed my group because I should have had researched more, planned more or at least had a feasible back up plan. While I can't speak for them, my teammates experienced similar emotions. We were upset that all of the work we had put in for this campaign for a majority of our junior year had nothing to show for it. I dreaded admitting my failure as a future public relations professional to my classmates and professors, and I know I wasn’t alone in that.
But, as I sit and reflect on this campaign, I feel like I learned more about myself because of this failure than I ever would have if the campaign had been successful. I learned my strengths and weaknesses and how I could better contribute to my group. I learned what it takes to create an unsuccessful campaign, which has shown me what it takes to make a campaign that works. But the biggest lesson I learned is that in the real world, thing do not always go as planned. In my head, I had the sunshine and butterfly mindset that no matter what happened, we would have a great end result. We would get the data we needed, create a plan book, then send it to nationals to be judged. I never acknowledged the fact that our ideas may not ever get legs, as Dr. Fleck and Dr. Agozzino like to say, and walk on their own. However, learning that this can happen and will happen, likely more than once in your career, is a humbling experience that made me evaluate myself more than a completed project ever has.
This month, we are beginning to work on the NODAC competition through PRSSA. This time, we have acknowledged what went wrong with our previous campaign and what we can do to improve. This time, we will finish our campaign successfully. And while admitting that things could have went better with Bateman, I have never been more excited to start a campaign in my life.